


Sonic the Institutionalized

by OhgunAP



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Language, Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhgunAP/pseuds/OhgunAP
Summary: Sonic and his friends get severely annoyed towards today's Cancel Culture and Social Justice ridden world.
Kudos: 4





	Sonic the Institutionalized

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on the song by Suicidal Tendencies called "Institutionalized"

(Sonic)  
I stopped by Tails’s workshop the other day  
I was exhausted from running around the world  
I just wanted to hang out with my buddy  
And do some fun activities around town  
But while we were out, some crazy looking woman approached us  
And starts telling us  
We need to be a gay couple  
As we looked at her confused, my buddy said

(Tails)  
What are you talking about?  
We’re not that interested in each other  
Can we just hangout and be friends?

(Sonic)  
Then she says  
I read this article on the Gamer one day  
It said that you two should be gay your official canon story  
And be a hero for the LGBTQ+ community  
I’m getting all pissed when I responded  
Are you serious?  
I’m not into guys like that  
I don’t care about the LGBTQ+ community  
I wanna hangout with my bud today  
I don’t care about what some trash site says I should be doing  
That site doesn’t have any integrity or anything fun  
You need to think on your own merit  
I just wanna have fun with my buddy around town  
She said  
You two must be suffering from toxic masculinity  
Maybe you need some soy in your diets  
We said

(Sonic and Tails)  
YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH  
GET OUT OF OUR FACE RIGHT NOW!

(Sonic)  
Gonna be institutionalized  
You’ll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes  
You won’t have anything to say  
They’ll brainwash you until you see their way

(Sonic)  
I’M NOT CRAZY!

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
YOU’RE THE ONES THAT’S CRAZY! 

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
They put me in an institution  
Said it was the only solution  
To give me professional help  
To save me from the enemy, myself.

(Sonic takes a deep breath)

(Sonic)  
The next night I brought Shadow to the local pub  
We’re just playing some darts and pool  
Shadow was practicing several hat tricks in darts  
And teaching me how to play without making a big mess  
We were having a blast so far  
But as soon we sunk over half the balls while playing some 8-Ball  
Some guy giving us a creepy open-mouthed smile on his face  
Shadow easily got offended and started to confront this dude  
The guy looked like one of the Try Guys from Buzzfeed  
He looked at us and said  
You two like make such a cute couple  
Shadow responded to him

(Shadow)  
We’re not fucking interested in hooking up like that!  
What the fuck is wrong with you!  
We’re just playing bar games  
Get out of our face with that gay shit and let us play some pool

(Sonic)  
Looking all scared he snitches on us with the manager  
And then the manager comes to us and tells us  
You two need to leave  
I said  
Why do we need to leave?  
That creep’s the one who been getting on our nerves with that creepy face of his  
Why aren’t you confronting him about his actions?  
Then the creep tells him these two are being complete bigots right now  
You need to call the police on them for hate speech

(Sonic and Shadow scream)

(Sonic)  
I’M NOT CRAZY!

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
YOU’RE THE ONES THAT’S CRAZY! 

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
They put me in an institution  
Said it was the only solution  
To give me professional help  
To save me from the enemy, myself.

(Sonic takes a deep breath)

(Sonic)  
The next morning Knuckles and I were hunting for some Chaos Emeralds in the rain forest  
I brought a variety of fruits for him in Tails’s portable fridges to keep them fresh for him  
While I was grilling some hot dogs and cooking some chili with a portable camper,  
Some dude fully painted in dark brown body paint and crew cut walks up to us and says  
Are you a racist making that black man do all the work?  
Annoyed by that remark Knuckles stops his search and asks him

(Knuckles)  
What the hell are you talking about?  
You trying to paint my friend as some kind of racist or something?

(Sonic)  
Then he had the nerve to tell us  
Do you know that white people are more likely to be more oppressive than blacks?  
Getting annoyed all over again I told him  
Listen up dumbass nobody is oppressing you in today’s day and age unless they make this a socialist country overnight!  
But we might lynch you if you keep harassing us!  
He says check your privilege white man, I’m a member of Black Lives Matter!

(Sonic and Knuckles)  
Fuck White Privilege and Black Lives Matter  
We couldn’t give a fuck if you were fighting against Kim Jong-Un motherfucker  
Just let us hunt for the fucking Chaos Emeralds!

(Sonic)  
In response he asks  
Do you know how many black men where gunned down by racist white men in the past 50 years?  
We said

(Sonic and Knuckles)  
Do you have any idea how many tyrants, murderers, and rapists you just defended with your projections!?  
Do you want to be treated the same way they did, you divisive asshole!?

(Sonic)  
Then the bastard had the nerve to strike me with a branch while saying to us  
Here’s what you deserve, you white dick sucking animals  
This will teach you treat black people with some respect

(Sonic and Knuckles screams while defending themselves)

(Sonic)  
I’M NOT CRAZY!

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
YOU’RE THE ONES THAT’S CRAZY! 

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!

(Tails, Knuckles and Shadow)  
INSITITUTION!

(Sonic)  
They put me in an institution  
Said it was the only solution  
To give me professional help  
To save me from the enemy, myself.

(Sonic takes a deep breath)

(Sonic)  
Shout out to Suicidal Tendencies for the original.


End file.
